For N.
Sometimes I let things go too long without blogging about it, and then, before you know it, it’s the end.
Flickr.com (CRASH:candy)
I had to say goodbye before I even said hello, to a man I consider a superlative human being, so full of light and goodness that everyone around him sees it. His empathy runs so deep and so quick that simply telling him how bad a day I’d had prompts a genuine response. His was the kind of friendship that never asks and only gives.
There was the time he read my tarot and served me his finest whisky, then said he’d like to see more of me. There were the weeks of pages-long emails, the shared experiences and shared vocabulary transmitting themselves across thousands of miles. There was the bouquet of flowers, thoughtfully selected by him, that arrived on my doorstep, a surprise. And there were the times I fell on the rope that held my life, balanced, against the synthetic rock wall, while his voice, below, calmly announced, “I’ve got you.”
He is a revolutionary, an artist, and a hearthstone fireplace to which I decided (perhaps belatedly, perhaps tragically) not to turn to. No matter how I wanted to convince myself otherwise.
And because we’ve already said our words off-blog, I’ll only state this: When time has done its rightful thing, and if it is possible (or plausible), I look forward to a different graft. A strengthened friendship with you.
