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2012: Of resolutions, the apocalypse, and audiences in their underwear.

December 31, 2011

Yesterday morning felt like New Year’s Day. Six a.m. sunshine was streaming in, brushing across my walls and over my bed. Inexplicably, I became euphoric, and after my first cup of coffee, I decided to take a walk with my second cup.

So I put on a sweater and began to wander through my leafy, sun-filled neighborhood, cup in hand, stopping to knock on friends’ doors (no one was awake), take photos, pick flowers, and touch the silky bark of eucalyptus trees looming above. The euphoria permeated me entirely, culminating in unabashed blissfulness as I had lunch with my roommate, then spent the afternoon with Serena, ending my day in a long walk with another friend through a fog-filled field of trees. No matter what anyone tells me, my calendar knows: December 30, 2011 was actually January 1, 2012. And considering that 2012 may mark the end of the world, I couldn’t have asked for a better first day.

But, ok, your calendars indicate that are still a few more hours left of this year. And by Mayan estimations, this year will be the last year of our lives before an apocalyptic erasure of life. But look on the bright side! There are still 366 days left to live (a leap year!), so it’s still prudent to have a plan. A “resolution,” if you will.

While I was cooking up my own resolutions, I asked a few blogger friends to co-write this post, sharing theirs. Two friends – LA-based Rahul, of Your Beard is Good, and son-of-a-preacher-man TurnJacson, of The Fantastical Ramblings of a Chronic Over-Thinker - contributed (I really ought to mail them homemade cookies – unless, of course, they go on a diet in 2012, in which case, sugar-free cookies?). First, Rahul’s resolution:

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No, that's not Aziz Ansari.

I’m not a fan of making New Year’s Resolutions. Why don’t we make Flag Day resolutions? It’s in the middle of the year and then you have the whole year to turn around that crippling Tic Tac addiction you’ve tried so hard to quit. I can’t quit you orange Tic Tac! 

This is not to say that I don’t make resolutions. I do. Sometimes. I tend to make resolutions throughout the year so my New Year’s resolution doesn’t really carry any extra weight than the others. Also, I lose track of what is a “resolution” and what is a “wish.” When people ask me what my New Year’s resolution is I usually say, “I want to own a casino.” As has been pointed out to me many a time that is not a resolution if you’re not willing to work towards it. It’s a dream. I usually scoff and tell them I’m still holding out hope for that genie in a lamp. Let’s all resolute for more wishes!

When my friend asked me last week what my New Year’s resolutions were I faked a coma. Falling on the floor was the only way to get myself out of the conversation. She always has plenty of resolutions every year which always conclude with, “Get tennis lessons.” When I told her I don’t have any she said that I had to have one. After an interrogation session of 3 and a half hours (see: 8 minutes) she noticed that I need to have one resolution:

Be more selfish.

Normally, this would be seen as bad. When you’re 8 and selfish your mom takes away your Game Boy. When you’re 18 and selfish your girlfriend takes away your Playstation. When you’re 34 and selfish your wife takes away half of your money. But she meant selfish in a good way. I always care how other people feel without taking my own feelings into account. My heart has been broken before, but I always care to make sure the other person doesn’t think I hate them. Even at the expense of my own feelings. In 2012 it’s time to be emotionally selfish. So that’s my resolution for the New Year. Care about me.

Or I could take tennis lessons.

Then, TurnJacson’s thoughts:

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Canadians, mmm.

My lovely friend and blogger Zoë Blue asked me for a post on the New Year and any resolutions that might come with it and I couldn’t say no. The last post on my blog was a brief reflection of my 2011 and what I had learned last year.

I want to do something different this year. I’m casting off the rigid guidelines of a “New Years Resolution.” I think I’m going to have some very over arching generic aspirations I’d like to achieve in 2012 but I’m not going to have my focus so narrowly tuned in on a certain set of tasks. Over the last couple years I’ve set some pretty hard goals for myself, and some of them I’ve accomplished but what usually seems to happen is that a lot of unexpected things happen over the course of the year that impede my ability to accomplish some of my goals. It’s like life has this path it would like to see me on, I fight it, I try to go in a different direction… but I always end up right where I’m supposed to be.

So the only creed I’m going to live by for 2012 is “Roll with the Punches.” Life has its own agenda for us,  we can influences it but sometimes going against life’s natural grain isn’t the right thing to do. Sometimes the universe is trying to tell us something with hard times and adversity but we become to focused on what we want to do that we lose sight of what we should do. The last two years I’ve been going against the grain and trying to force myself into circumstances and situations that I feel I need to be in. I felt the need to fulfill some sort of obligation that come with my age, so my resolutions in the past always had big life changing tones to them.

This year my resolution… is no resolution. I’m going to live my life to the fullest and enjoy the roller coaster ride that is my life.

Both my friends Rahul and TurnJacson make good points. First, tennis isn’t a bad idea (it’s a bit like giant ping pong right?) And agreeing not to make any resolutions also seems sound.  But 2011 marked the second year of my blog, and it’s been my most transparent year yet. As I write this, I am aware that any one of the people I have written about – most of my exes now know about this site – may visit this site. Even my mother reads this blog, as of yesterday.

So if I have to make a resolution, it will be this: To continue blogging despite my audience. 

(because I've probably seen a few of you in your underwear)

Whatever happens – new travels, new love(s), new ways of being - yesterday’s simple bliss showed me that I’m ready to face tonight, and the 366 days that follow it, even if it means it’s the end of the world as I know it. Hey, I survived Y2K, so maybe I will be fine.

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