How it all started

Mid-November 2009: After years of falling in love with a man who wouldn’t return the favor, I left. Because he was still logged in to his email account on my computer, I found his Yahoo! Personals ad. It had been updated, days before I broke up with him. That was the final straw, but then I got to thinking, “Why not create my own account? Just for fun, to see if anyone notices?” Within the next couple of hours, I had posted a profile and a few photos. Within an hour of “going public,” I already had a dozen winks and emails. I was overwhelmed, and shut down my profile.

Thanksgiving 2009: At my dad’s, with too much time on my hands, I set up a Match.com account. Oddly, I wasn’t ready to start dating yet. I had imposed a deadline on myself (January 15, 2010), at which point I thought I might be ready to start dating. I was (mostly) over my ex, who I hadn’t seen for a couple of weeks and never thought about anymore. When I did think of him, it was only with a sense of gentle nostalgia, and relief. That relationship’s demise had been a long time coming. However, I wanted the two months to “be single” after years of not. I wanted to journal, to pick up a new sport, reconnect with girlfriends, get pedicures with Mom, whatever. I just wanted to be free and unaccountable to anyone but myself. Still, I opened a free Match.com account. And a Chemistry.com account, because I liked their personality test. And an OKCupid account, because that was free. I was this-close to opening a free eHarmony account, but when I found out about their policy on prohibiting gays and lesbians from joining, I passed. But by the end of the night, I was inundated with the amount of emails and winks I had received and once again, turned my profile off so that no one could see me.

Early December 2009: I talked with a girlfriend about my online dating profile and how I had shut it off. She replied, “Hey, who says you have to meet these guys? Just tell them you won’t be meeting in person until January, and then enjoy emailing them.” So, the Match.com profile went back up. I shelled out the $60 for a basic three-month subscription ($20 a month). I deleted my trial Chemistry.com account (too expensive), and kept my OKCupid account up, even though no one of interest had yet contacted me there. Within a few days, though, I was already emailing someone, “Paul,” who had emailed me on Match. This turned into a whirlwind of a week, which I won’t tell you much more about except to say we met quite a few times. Then I took off for Christmas break, we emailed and IMed, and somewhere far far away from home, deep into a conversation with my brother, I realized Paul wasn’t for me. But, like I said, that’s another story.

January 2010: I returned from my break, having been in email contact with a few guys. Met a couple of them, fell (quickly) for one, “Edgar,” experienced another whirlwind, this time for two weeks. I ended that when it was clear Edgar and I had some major lifestyle differences, and now, NOW, I’m ready to try my hand at online dating.

February 2, 2010: Started this blog in order to document some of my observations, experiences and dating stories. All names will be anonymous, but the stories are definitely true.

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